Who says Texas high school football isn't the best in the world?
It's certainly the most interesting.
Edinburg High School was eliminated from the playoffs Thursday thanks to one player. He didn't fumble a sure game-tying touchdown. He didn't throw a late interception. He didn't even spike his team's pregame pizza with Ex-lax.
No, he did something much dumber. He slammed into the referee. After he was ejected.
This moron -- we'll protect his identity by calling him Emmanuel, though his real name is Emmanuel Duron and he's an 18-year-old senior at Edinburg -- got ejected from Thursday's game. He had been called for a personal foul, then was given an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty and ejected for arguing with the referee. No, they were not arguing about who put the Ex-lax on the pizza.
Apparently, Emmanuel didn't get his message across during the argument. So he got it across, WWE style.
The referee (I won't use his name, seriously, to protect his anonymity, though I did actually learn it. Hey, I do my research!) left the game and was evaluated for a possible injured shoulder and concussion symptoms. He did not return.
Emmanuel isn't returning, either. Probably not for a long, long time. He was escorted from the stadium by police and has since been charged with assault.
Emmanuel is a clear winner. He was suspended from soccer for an entire season for a "similar encounter," showing he clearly lacks the capability of learning anything and, indeed, I'm stunned he passed his studies enough to make it to his senior year. The Monitor, a newspaper that services the Rio Grande area in Texas, named him last year's All-Area Wrestler of the Year, showing that the Monitor does not base its choices on what the athletes have in their head.
The mugging in question took place during a Texas 31-6A Zone Play-In Game, with the winner advancing to the Bi-District round, proving once and for all that Texas has too many damn teams.
The game was won by Edinburg, though the school's athletic director chose the safe route and withdrew his team from the playoffs. Is that fair for the other players on the Edinburg team? Short answer: No. Long answer: No, but they can take it out on Emmanuel by force-feeding him Ex-lax.
It was a classy move by the AD. I know a few former (and maybe current) ADs who wouldn't make such a move. They would punish the player, though, for sure. Maybe suspend him for a few plays. Or maybe make the bold move to ban him from eating any pregame pizza. Well, maybe one slice, but cheese only, no pepperoni.
And hey, in only three years, he'll be draft-eligible. Hello, Cincinnati.
CHRISTMAS MOVIE REVIEW: HE-MAN & SHE-RA: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
Because I'm doing this blog 25 straight days, you're not going to get 25 reviews. Sorry. But you will get reviews for whatever I end up watching this year.
The last special I watched was a special I didn't even know existed until a few years ago, despite the fact that this was my favorite cartoon as a kid.
The original TV show, as it aired for three years on syndicated television (check your local listings), was called He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe. But, none of us kids called it that. It was "He-Man." That's it. Screw the Masters of the Universe. The people at Mattel were certainly not Masters of Creative Toy Naming.
In our Christmas special, Prince Adam (he's He-Man's alter-ego who looks exactly like He-Man. Think Clark Kent walking around without glasses.) is decorating for his birthday along with his twin sister Adora, who lives on another planet but is there for some reason. Their mother, Queen Mrs. Adam, reminisces about Christmas, a holiday on her home planet of Earth. Adam asks more about this holiday, which he has never heard of even though they use Christmas-style decorations every year for Adam's birthday and the queen has certainly never mentioned this fact.
Moving along, Orko (continuing the Superman theme, think Bat-Mite) gets in a spaceship and heads to Earth completely coincidently. He rescues two Earth kids from the snow, and they teach Orko about Christmas, including the worst rendition of Jingle Bells you've ever heard.
Skeletor (Lex Luthor) is sent to Earth to learn about the "magic of Christmas" to be used for evil purposes, and he kidnaps the kids. Now, he could have picked out any of the 100 million-or-so kids in the United States, but he picks these same two because bad TV writing. Long story short (too late) Skeletor is about to deliver the kids to his boss, Horde Prime (General Zod), but does a sudden face turn and saves the kids from Horde Prime's grasp. Somehow, He-Man and She-Ra get involved.
Yeah, I don't know either. If you have an hour to kill, watch it. And have fun MST3K-ing the heck out of it.
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