Welcome to the club, Dwayne Haskins.
You're the newest member of one of the least exclusive clubs in football: the Failed Ohio State Quarterback Club.
Haskins is gone from the Washington Football Team. His agent left him. I wouldn't be shocked if his dog ran away.
I could go into his lack of maturity. I could talk about how he should have been focusing on his job and saved his partying for after the season. I could mention he was benched for Taylor Heinicke, whose last QB stint was as an XFL backup.
Heineke's lone football card shot up from 25 cents to $17.50, so at least he did something nice.
Don't worry. I will go into all those things later.
But first, let's delve into Haskins' alma mater. I wanted to know why Ohio State football, the high and mighty institution that has single-handedly changed school protocol, conference rules, and crowd safety guidelines -- all in the past three months -- can't produce a winning NFL quarterback.
Going through NFL record books, the most successful Buckeye quarterback by far has been Mike Tomczak. He was an undrafted free agent who joined the Chicago Bears in 1985 and is, to my knowledge, the only rookie QB in history to take a snap in a Super Bowl. He started 73 games in the NFL, going 42-31 with a career completion percentage of 53.8, and a passer rating of 68.9.
Hey, both were better than Haskins on Sunday.
It gets worse. Only two other QBs have started at least 10 games: Kent Graham, who went 17-21 with the Giants, Cardinals, and Steelers; and Tom Tupa, who went 4-9 but is much better known as the first player to score a two-point conversion in NFL history.*
So many others -- Troy Smith, Terrelle Pryor, Joe Germaine, Bobby Hoying, Art Schlichter, Cardale Jones -- were great as Buckeyes. Then they were drafted.
You can make an excuse that Ohio State is not a high-scoring machine, historically. Coaches like Woody Hayes, Earle Bruce, Jim Tressel, and John Cooper were more interested in winning games than running up the score. Still, it's odd that a school that can produce countless great running backs (Eddie George, Tom Matte), wide receivers (Cris Carter, Paul Warfield) and offensive linemen (Orlando Pace, Jim Parker) can't produce even a good quarterback, let alone a HOFer.
Don't forget great Obsessed Fans and Jim Tressel Look-alikes
Haskins' release should come as a surprise to no one. The guy was dancing at a strip club relative's birthday party the night he led the WFT to an ugly loss to the Seattle Seahawks. I'm sure Haskins spent the whole following week promising Rivera that he would in fact take the next game very seriously, and to prove it, he offered his coach 20% off his next lap dance.** Haskins' long-awaited response against the Panthers was to complete half his passes and throw no touchdowns and two picks, before being benched for Heinicke, who is best known for owning over 900 car care centers around the country.
Maybe some NFL team will give him another chance. And maybe he can be as well-renowned as someone like Mike Tomczak. And maybe his dog will show up at his front door, wet and hungry but alive and well. We can all hope.
It's not like he dropped a championship trophy or anything.
Wait, that wasn't mayo?
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*--So what?
**--Just kidding. It was 10%.
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